Do I look Fat?

Wait – before you answer that… Don't. 
Please don't.

I already know the answer. The answer, of course, is no. And, what the fuck are you talking about? And, this again...

And yet.

I spent today in class looking at myself and imagining that if I only 'looked different' my life would be better. (Sidenote: my life is amazing.)

One thing that I've learned working in ED recovery is that the question of 'fat' is not about fat at all. It's a question of self-acceptance. Of insecurity. Of loneliness. Of you not realizing how divine you are. (As if fat could mean all these exquisite things!)

We covet everything but what is *already* ours.

I share this because, you know - human. Because I'm having a hard day and I don't need Shame's friendship. Because recovering ourselves means unabashedly recovery all the feelings.

Because I believe in vulnerability as a way to love.

Because I am you. I feel you.

And, because YOU are beautiful darling